October 24, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 24 ~ Civility builds a person’s integrity one word at a time. #civility

There are no shortcuts. There are no substitutes. We can choose to be a person known for our anger, our insults, our number of wins, our caustic attitude, or our superiority… but none of that replaces integrity.

Integrity is that essence of personhood that brings people to you when they have questions. It brings people to you when they need to say something. It brings people to you when they need to be heard.

Integrity is that honesty that enables people to listen to you with openness, and the fairness that allows you to hear dissenting positions. Civility creates integrity. Integrity creates trust. Trust creates friendships. Friendships create the most wholesome and transforming dialogue. Bank on it!

October 23, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 23 ~ Civility allows for change to happen. #civility

What do I mean? Am I saying that no one should be challenged for ever-shifting stances on issues? Am I saying that inconsistency is a virtue? No, I’m not trying to say either of those things.

We’ve all seen a candidate in a debate, or a in political advertisement, painted a certain way or pigeonholed for comments or stances taken years before which may have changed in the course of a decade or more years of experience  We’ve all heard the accusations of hypocrisy the moment someone changes their mind. Civility will ask us to rethink our knee-jerk reactions to those shifts in people’s thoughts and conclusions.

I mean really, have none of us moved from more conservative to liberal or more liberal to conservative views in our religious beliefs or political ideas? Have we not experienced our own selves adapt, change and subtly shift through the years in various ways? Have any of us learned or experienced something that changed our way of thinking? It’s uncivil to brand that in another person as inherently hypocritical or inauthentic.

Civility allows for change. Civility is not a closed, predetermined response to someone, but it allows for some growth, some adaptation and the cumulative effect of years of discourse and experience.

October 22, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 22 ~ Civility is humility on parade! #civility

Because humility, like civility, is one of those strengths that never gets old, never fails you, never goes wrong! When we showcase civility we are letting humility put on it’s “Sunday best” and strut down the street with a marching band!

October 21, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 21 ~ Civility, like any good habit or reflex, requires practice. Start small, work your way up. Don’t give up. #civility

Civility is not just for disagreements, but it can shape all our discourse, from simple thank you‘s to a courteous please. Civility can be cultivated and grown, nursed and shaped into reflex and habit. It’s a daily commitment with long-term dividends.

October 20, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct 20 ~ Civility is a gift, not as in an “ability,” but as in something shared with your neighbor. #civility

Honestly, this is more a prayer or a mantra for me, and less a snappy quote. Civility has to be owned, modeled and used to really bring the greatest impact to our dialogue. Enough with vilifications and assumptions about our neighbors. Weigh the content of a person’s words and actions and respond to those things.

Don’t let dialogue become a personal attack. Don’t let conversations become a contest of assigning other people bad intentions or alterior motives. Listen well, reflect on the content, and respond of you feel you need to add something to the move the conversation along.

October 19, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 19 ~ Quote: “Teaching civility is an obligation of the family.” – Stephen Carter #civility

This is really true. Parents, your kids are listening! They will say what you say, and will speak like you speak. Do they hear you ridiculing people? Do they hear you tearing people down to stand a little taller? We carry the burden of making sure we model what they most need from us.

As with so many things, if we make civility a hallmark of our families, society will be changed in amazing ways. Generations to come should be able to look back and thank us for setting a better course for our national and community discourse!

October 18, 2012 Redux in 2016

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*I almost skipped this entry from four years ago. I do still believe that civility allows for some good natured humor, but there’s not much funny today when we hear Donald Trump’s careless rhetoric and words, either about rigged elections or women. Maybe this is a needed reminder of how these elections and candidacies should be going. Who would have thought that four years ago would seem so tame and be remembered so fondly. Weird, huh?

Oct. 18 ~ Civility does allow for humor, just be wise & fair, and use some whimsy! #civility

Of course civility allows for some humor, just keep it fair and whimsical, and be wise. The most current, gut-busting example is the MEME activity with Governor Romney’s statement about having “binders full of women.”

And the funniest of the MEME’s to me don’t even have his picture in them, but instead have President Clinton making some funny face or even Boromir. I’m cracking up over these things! Here are my three favorites, none of which show Governor Romney…

…and my all time fav below…

Do some of the MEME’s out there cross the line of civility? Yes indeed. Some are mean spirited ones and some are simply misrepresenting the comment. Was it a poor choice of words? Sure thing. Was it funny? Heck yeah!

I don’t believe that it’s fair or correct to judge Governor Romney’s views on women by that statement, which was obviously not well thought out. We just need to be able to laugh sometimes and let things be humorous. Just stick with the whimsy and leave the meanness out!