Compassion
Mingling the Human & Divine
A few months ago I was walking our little dog Tito in the neighborhood, fairly mentally zoned out, when a big silver pickup truck rounds a corner and pulls directly over to stop at the curb near me. Yes, it was a little unnerving, but I stopped and the passenger side window went down. Inside is a big burly guy behind the wheel with tears flowing and he asks me if I could stop and talk a bit.
I could and I did.
The concentrated cigarette punch from the truck was enough make my eyes water, but I leaned against the door and asked what was going on. He described through his tears how he was just done, how he had damaged and maybe ruined his most important relationships, and how he wasn’t sure if there was any reason to keep going.
I think I might have reached in to touch his shoulder, and I began the litany. You probably know the words, “Brother, I hear you. I hear how bad it is and I hear how much it hurts. Going on is the way you heal. Going on is the way you repair what can be fixed, and how you atone for what cannot. God’s got you. God’s not done with you. God will go on with you.”
I know more was said and more tears fell, but I honestly don’t remember it all. High emotion has a way of making that deep recall difficult. I do know that after a few minutes, some more tears and some deep breaths he drove off. I walked Tito home and went on with my day, hopeful that I’d done anything to help.
Now we jump to this morning and Tito and I are headed out for our morning patrol. We get about half the way up my block and I see a guy in a driveway who had been prepping for some lawn work, but was now just standing there watching me approach. I got closer and he says, “Man, I’ve been watching and waiting to see you. You probably don’t remember me.”
That’s when I noticed his big silver truck and looked back at him and nodded, “Brother, I do.” He goes on to tell me that since we talked that morning he had put himself into rehab and he’s made it to 90 days sober. He told me about his new morning prayer routine and how God has helped him pick up the pieces. He said his wife recently told him, “I’m so glad to have my husband back.”
He asked if he could give me a hug and I said, “I need one!”
Over the years I’ve often prayed things like, “God, just use me. Put me in places of need.” As God has answered that prayer I’ve noticed that it’s not always a very comfortable experience. It’s almost never happened as I imagined it would or as I would choose. But God has answered the prayer, and I think I’ve been put in situations which I needed as much as I might be needed.
Some prominent voices in our public discourse have recently offered the idea that empathy is a weakness and even a damaging sentiment. Empathy is different from pity or sympathy in that it’s the ability to connect with the feelings of another, to connect with and share their humanity. I personally tend to define empathy with the words of our faith, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Does that mean I should love my neighbor as I love myself, or maybe on a deeper level I love my neighbor because they are me, and I am them?
I believe empathy is a muscle that when strengthened allows us to hold onto one another past any fears or barriers that arise. It’s the strength to make a connection and to love. Empathy is the power of presence, to truly be with someone beyond simple proximity.
The late and great Howard Thurman once wrote that “…hatred often begins in a situation in which there is contact without fellowship, contact that is devoid of any of the primary overtures of warmth and fellow-feeling and genuineness.” (Jesus and the Disinherited, 1949.) Digest that for a moment: contact without fellowship. How much hatred and accompanying fear festers in our society because we allow proximity without the effort of empathy and compassion? How often do we avoid contact, much less fellowship?
The next time any voice asks you to hate someone, to fear someone or to hold someone at a distance, the best response would be to take a deep breath, draw nearer and to flex that muscle of empathy. See the other person’s humanity, their value and beauty, even if those come in forms and expressions that are new for you.
I’m going to keep praying for God to put me in the places of need, without specifying that it be another’s need or my own. Though it’s not always easy, I’m going to keep stretching myself to lean in and empathize with others. I believe that in such empathy and presence we again mingle the human and the divine, incarnating the healing wholeness modeled by our Christ. I know I felt Christ’s presence in that hug.
AMDG, Todd
For Such A Time As This
When our Presiding Bishop calls us to fast, I fast. I love the intent and meaning behind this call, and I pray that we might all be transformed in our spiritual practices, the world made a better and more humane place, and that mercy will reign. Click the image below for the video, or just peruse the transcript.
Amen, Todd
Transcript…
There is a wonderful book that was published some years ago titled “Eat, Pray, Love.” I want to invite you to fast, pray, and love by advocating for those who have no one to advocate for them.
On May 21, I am going to join with Presiding Bishop Elizabeth Eaton of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and many of our ecumenical friends, in fasting for the day, and beginning a fast on the 21st of every month, continuing until the end of the year 2018, when the 115th Congressional session comes to an end.
Here is the reason for that fast: That time of the month, around the 21st of every month, is a very difficult time for people who are on public assistance and have received their assistance earlier in the month. So we will fast and pray, to pray that our government and our leaders will find a way to do what is just and kind and compassionate in the best of the American spirit.
But we will not only fast and pray. We are asking you to join with us in advocating in a variety of ways for the poor, for those who need public assistance for children who are the primary beneficiaries of most of the forms of assistance that our government provides. We are asking you to join with other Christians and other people of goodwill to help our government reflect the best of the American spirit by feeding the hungry, caring for our children, and making sure that everyone has the opportunities for life and liberty not only in our country, but in our world.
There is a story in the Bible, in the Book of Esther in the Hebrew Scriptures. It is the story of the people of God who found themselves in some tough times, and there was a woman named Esther who rose up and accepted the challenge at some risk to herself. A challenge to save her people when they were in jeopardy. At a moment of decision when she was trying to decide whether or not she should enter into the work to save her people, someone named Mordecai sent her a word, and said, “Perhaps Esther, you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this.”
Maybe we are Esther. Perhaps we in the Episcopal Church, perhaps we in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, perhaps we who are Christians and people of faith and goodwill have come to the kingdom for such a time as this, to help our country make sure that no child goes to bed hungry.
“Eat, Pray, Love” is a wonderful book, but I want to invite you beginning on May 21 to fast, to pray, and to love by advocating for our children.
God love you, God bless you, and you keep the faith.
Presiding Bishop and Primate Michael B. Curry, The Episcopal Church
Playing With Glyphs
I’m sitting at Starbucks before heading to work and I get a the urge to play with making glyphs. Now, I’m no linguist and I’ve not spent time with any ancient glyphs, so I’m no authority here. I simply had a canvas that I had prepared in Procreate on my iPad and was thinking of looking up a cool Japanese symbol to add to it. But, since I don’t know any Japanese symbols, I’m at the mercy of websites to supply me the image and the meaning.
I don’t know about you, but that always scares me. Like what happens if the website says this is the symbol for purity, but it’s actually the symbol for dunce, as in “Look at this dunce who saw something on the Internet and copied it!” I decided instead to work through a short exercise of what it might be like to create my own glyphs, my own symbols to convey an idea.
It wasn’t terribly easy, and I’m aware that we’ve all seen symbols and used them all our lives. I can’t do this in a vacuum of experience or culture, but can I move somewhat outside of my own experience to make something a little new? It won’t be totally new, but maybe a little novel?
I chose to convey the idea of compassion, compassion being our ability to see the suffering of someone and feeling moved to alleviate the suffering. My glyph is read left to right, top to bottom. I decided to convey four distinct ideas with the glyphs to represent compassion. First, there is awareness, the eye, that is looking upon a person. Second, that person is suffering, as seen by the downward movement of the arrow. Third, there is identifying with that person and making a communal bond, when the curving walls bring us together, like cupping hands. The final and fourth idea is a reversal of the downward trend of life to an alleviation of the suffering, an upward arrow.
The value of this little exercise of mine was not the work of deciding how to draw a person or make an stylized eyeball, but it was the meditation on compassion as a movement, an action and a process. Can I live this way? Can I see people and move to identify with them and work together to bring healing? Do I want to? It seems to me that we have a daily choice to go beside people in their worst of times, or to retreat and hope that less is asked of us when next we meet someone. This decision was poignantly played out in the story Jesus told about the man we now call The Good Samaritan.
In that story we see two people choose to ignore the suffering of another person, and one person choose to face the suffering and help alleviate it. Jesus taught this story to illustrate love for one’s neighbor, for all of ine’s neighbors. The story transcended ethnic divides, religious divides and national divides. The story unites us as a single humanity that cares for one another. That’s a concept worthy of some imagination. That’s a story worth doodling and imagining as a template for our own walk down the road.
AMDG, Todd
St. Francis on Compassion
“If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.”
Saint Francis of Assisi
This is a day and age when we are openly speaking of care and concern for all the earth, and compassion for the lost beauty and lost goodness of an ill-treated creation is an appropriate response to destruction of habitats, litter, oil spills and human negligence.
As an individual, does my stewardship of creation reflect my love of people? Does my compassion for the hurting extend to animals as well as humans? Have I allowed my compassion to be stunted and limited?
I believe that these are the kind of questions that would drive St. Francis to give us such a warning. I can ill afford to let my compassion be stunted or bounded or restrained. If it is to be a ready gift to my own species, a blessing to other people, then I must allow it to be growing and ever-expanding for each and all.
AMDG, Todd
The Canticle of the Sun, St. Francis
Most high, all powerful, all good Lord! All praise is yours,
all glory, all honor, and all blessing. To you, alone, Most High,
do they belong. No mortal lips are worthy to pronounce your name.Be praised, my Lord, through all your creatures,
especially through my lord Brother Sun, who brings the day;
and you give light through him. And he is beautiful and radiant
in all his splendor! Of you, Most High, he bears the likeness.Be praised, my Lord, through Sister Moon and the stars;
in the heavens you have made them, precious and beautiful.Be praised, my Lord, through Brothers Wind and Air,
and clouds and storms, and all the weather, through which
you give your creatures sustenance.Be praised, My Lord, through Sister Water;
she is very useful, and humble, and precious, and pure.Be praised, my Lord, through Brother Fire, through whom
you brighten the night. He is beautiful and cheerful,
and powerful and strong.Be praised, my Lord, through our sister Mother Earth,
who feeds us and rules us, and produces various fruits
with colored flowers and herbs.Be praised, my Lord, through those who forgive for love of you;
through those who endure sickness and trial. Happy those who
endure in peace, for by you, Most High, they will be crowned.Be praised, my Lord, through our Sister Bodily Death,
from whose embrace no living person can escape.
Woe to those who die in mortal sin! Happy those she finds
doing your most holy will. The second death can do no harm to them.Praise and bless my Lord, and give thanks,
and serve him with great humility.
Desmond Tutu on Active Compassion
“Compassion is not just feeling with someone, but seeking to change the situation. Frequently people think compassion and love are merely sentimental. No! They are very demanding. If you are going to be compassionate, be prepared for action!”
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
And amen, Todd
A Compassion Prayer
“God, another day unfolds before us…
Help me to forgive more and judge less.
Help me to love more and be angry less.
Help me to speak more grace than criticism.
Help me simply to speak less and listen more.
Help me see another’s beauty before their flaws.
And bring to me people who will forgive me,
love me, speak grace to me, listen to me
and celebrate the beauties of my life.
Amen.”
The Necessity of Compassion
I’m a fan of the Dalai Lama. I like so much of what he says, teaches and exhibits in his life and humility. And I can’t tell you how much I wish I could work some Buddhist robes into my daily life, I just don’t have the body for it. So in the interests of being compassionate to others I’ll just quote the Dalai Lama and leave myself safely encased in flannel.
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
Dalai Lama XIV
As I read Jesus year after year, I’m more persuaded that the idea of life is not to make the world like me, or to make the world to be like me, but life is an effort to love and serve the world around me. Mother Teresa of Calcutta is on record as having said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” I couldn’t agree more. Not only does judging use up my time, it also wastes my precious energy and skews my prayers. I truly believe that living my life in judgment of others does more harm to my own soul than effects correction in anyone’s life.
Today, I’m going to let the man in orange speak to me. Compassion is not something I can ignore or replace in my life without serious consequences to my own health and the world’s joy. As Micah’s words have needfully reminded us for so very long: let us be about justice, mercy and humility, walking the road of life with a God we proclaim to be love. (1 John 4:7-9)
AMDG, Todd
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