Civility

October 22, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 22 ~ Civility is humility on parade! #civility

Because humility, like civility, is one of those strengths that never gets old, never fails you, never goes wrong! When we showcase civility we are letting humility put on it’s “Sunday best” and strut down the street with a marching band!

October 21, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 21 ~ Civility, like any good habit or reflex, requires practice. Start small, work your way up. Don’t give up. #civility

Civility is not just for disagreements, but it can shape all our discourse, from simple thank you‘s to a courteous please. Civility can be cultivated and grown, nursed and shaped into reflex and habit. It’s a daily commitment with long-term dividends.

October 20, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct 20 ~ Civility is a gift, not as in an “ability,” but as in something shared with your neighbor. #civility

Honestly, this is more a prayer or a mantra for me, and less a snappy quote. Civility has to be owned, modeled and used to really bring the greatest impact to our dialogue. Enough with vilifications and assumptions about our neighbors. Weigh the content of a person’s words and actions and respond to those things.

Don’t let dialogue become a personal attack. Don’t let conversations become a contest of assigning other people bad intentions or alterior motives. Listen well, reflect on the content, and respond of you feel you need to add something to the move the conversation along.

October 19, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 19 ~ Quote: “Teaching civility is an obligation of the family.” – Stephen Carter #civility

This is really true. Parents, your kids are listening! They will say what you say, and will speak like you speak. Do they hear you ridiculing people? Do they hear you tearing people down to stand a little taller? We carry the burden of making sure we model what they most need from us.

As with so many things, if we make civility a hallmark of our families, society will be changed in amazing ways. Generations to come should be able to look back and thank us for setting a better course for our national and community discourse!

October 18, 2012 Redux in 2016

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*I almost skipped this entry from four years ago. I do still believe that civility allows for some good natured humor, but there’s not much funny today when we hear Donald Trump’s careless rhetoric and words, either about rigged elections or women. Maybe this is a needed reminder of how these elections and candidacies should be going. Who would have thought that four years ago would seem so tame and be remembered so fondly. Weird, huh?


Oct. 18 ~ Civility does allow for humor, just be wise & fair, and use some whimsy! #civility

Of course civility allows for some humor, just keep it fair and whimsical, and be wise. The most current, gut-busting example is the MEME activity with Governor Romney’s statement about having “binders full of women.”

And the funniest of the MEME’s to me don’t even have his picture in them, but instead have President Clinton making some funny face or even Boromir. I’m cracking up over these things! Here are my three favorites, none of which show Governor Romney…

…and my all time fav below…

Do some of the MEME’s out there cross the line of civility? Yes indeed. Some are mean spirited ones and some are simply misrepresenting the comment. Was it a poor choice of words? Sure thing. Was it funny? Heck yeah!

I don’t believe that it’s fair or correct to judge Governor Romney’s views on women by that statement, which was obviously not well thought out. We just need to be able to laugh sometimes and let things be humorous. Just stick with the whimsy and leave the meanness out!

October 17, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 17 ~ Civility can be contagious… spread the goodness! #civility 

You will be changing the world around you tokay just by being present with others, so let your impact be to expand the greater grace and goodness made possible by civility! Let this seed of change for the better begin with you, and begin with me! We can change the course of human dialogue and discussion by simply being anchors of civil discourse for the people around us.

Did you have a favorite candidate in the Presidential Election? It’s totally cool if you do, most will have a favorite. Now, try to stop and think of the other candidate in the best possible terms. You don’t have to agree with what he or she says and does, but stop using a negative lens to see and hear everything about him.

Can you do it? If you can, then I bet you can also resist posting smarmy, insulting and uncivil remarks about him on Facebook today! See the best in everyone around you and they just might begin begin living up to some of those expectations!

October 16, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 16 ~ My civility is not dependent on yours, or vice versa. #civility

*I want to brag on our 8th and 9th graders at St. John’s. We talked about this same same thing in class, and they totally get it. We were based in the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5:21-22, but also looked some good stuff from Paul and James: Ephesians 4:29, Romans 12:14-18 and James 3:10. I believe one student said that making sure we aren’t just returning incivility for incivility is the “adult” thing to do. Can we get that message sent to our presidential candidates? 


Someone else being uncivil is never license for me to abandon civility in my responses. The need for civility, the responsibility to be civil, these are mine to carry and hold. The same is true for every person.

Civility breaks the cycles of violence in both actions and words. Civility gets a foot in the door and begins to change the kind of conversations we are having when we allow the other person’s incivility to not be met in kind… or when they grace us by overlooking our incivility.

So yeah, break the cycle. Ignore the incivility on another’s part. You and me, we can model and live civility whether everyone else follows along or not!

October 15, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 15 ~ Civility won’t always be the funnest or funniest response. It can be hard being an adult. #civility 

Yeah, I know. Incivility can be funny, and fun. But we have to have our sights set on  higher goals. Have we mentioned that civility has a price tag? Indeed, it does. And the person choosing civility most often pays it.

We like to get a laugh. We like to “score a point” for our side. It often takes a mature measure of self-control and wisdom to choose to be civil, to choose to be civil instead of funny or vindictive.

October 14, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 14 ~ Civility accepts an apology. #civility 

Do we need to elaborate? Civility is always asking more of us than the easiest response in situations of disagreement or simple divergence on issues and topics of life. This is no different.

Civility will allow the other to apologize, and will do so with grace and courtesy. Accepting an apology is tough stuff, but that’s all the more reason to knuckle down and get it done! The tough choices are often the most needful.

At the end of the day, it’s a civil response to accept the other’s apology because the day will come soon enough when you need your own accepted!

October 13, 2012 Redux in 2016

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Oct. 13 ~ Civility asks good questions. #civility

If we believe that civility is built on things like fairness and honesty then we will be asking good questions. No one likes leading questions or the good ole “gotcha” questions. Those kinds of tactics don’t advance conversations or ever convince anyone of anything.

Good questions seek to understand and to help the other person fully verbalize their thoughts. This kind of participatory listening and asking good questions can help everyone get a better grip on where a conversation has been, where it is, and where it can and needs to go!

Try it! Instead of “How stupid can you be?” ask the person “Who has influenced you most in your opinion on this topic?” Then listen! Instead of asking “How many more people must die at the hands of your ignorance?” ask them “So, what if we did things this way over here… what do you think would change?” And then listen!

Good questions lead to good conversations!