You know, there’s not anything huge on my mind at the moment, but it feels like a good time to throw this out. StickerMule, my fav company that I use to make my custom pins and stickers sent me a deal this week to make 50 stickers for $19 and I thought, “Hmmmmm, what would I say on a sticker right now?”
This is what came bubbling up… “I support, love, need, appreciate, include, welcome, admire and will defend my LGBTQ friends, family and neighbors because I’m a Christian.” Not in spite of my faith, but fully from within it. We find ourselves in a time in our country when certain people within the Christian faith are taking the time and opportunity to speak out against these friends, family and neighbors, with renewed vigor and probably energized at least in part by our current Administration in the White House.
This trend really bums me out, but that’s almost all the power it has over me, to bum me out. The trend is far more detrimental to anyone who finds themselves on an LGBTQ journey in life. And if anyone finds themselves sidelined or excluded by those Christians, please know that they are not the sum total of our voice, faith or heart for you.
What trending am I talking about? Well there’s the Trump Administration’s targeting of Transgender military service members. And not because they have neglected their duty or underperformed in their service in any way… simply because they are Transgender. In my own church family a local Episcopal Bishop in his state has defied our decision as a national church to fully honor the dignity and right of all people to have access to full participation in the church and its rites. And there seems to be no end to spiteful signs waved in the name of Christ.
So yeah, I love you. I admire your courage to own the journey behind you and to face the journey ahead of you. You should be included because you are a valuable part of the human whole. And no, the Bible is not your enemy, and neither are Christians… at least, they shouldn’t be. So please know you’re welcome in my life, my faith and my journey, not because you necessary need me, but because I need you. Hang in there and we’ll work together to make the best of 2019 for all people.
I had a message pop up in Facebook the other day, my friend Kurt from St John’s had been poking around my blog and reading some of the things I have written on LGBTQ inclusion and acceptance. He correctly pointed out that I was a little out of date… he didn’t say “dude, you’re slacking off,” but he should have. He would have been right.
He also graciously offered me permission to share a short article he wrote this past year for St John’s on what it meant to be asked to help our parish organize a group to march in the annual Pride Parade in DC. He did a great job organizing, by the way… it was my first Pride Parade and I’m hooked.
Here’s the text of his article, and a few Parade photos… please receive it as a gift from Kurt, a brother in Christ, a humble man and a deeply good soul.
Pride Parade Story by Kurt Ellison
It wasn’t long ago that someone stopped me and said, “So what’s the deal with the Pride Parade? Why is St. John’s marching?”
That is no small answer!
As a teenager that grew up at St. John’s, I could tell that we were definitely a church that was not of one mind about the whole gay issue. We had gay clergy, but when it came to choosing a new rector in 1997, St. John’s said overwhelmingly (in its profile survey) that it did not want a gay rector. (Yes, it’s true!)
As St. John’s wrestled with where it was and searched for a new rector, so I was wrestling with who I was – a gay kid who loved my church (and I still do). Living in Chicago as an adult, I found myself at the annual pride parade, and fascinated by the churches that were marching in the parade, and thinking, “Wow, my home church (St. John’s) would never do this!”
Years later, I moved back to the area to look after my ailing parents, I eventually came back to St. John’s and was curious to see how things had changed. Imagine my surprise when Susan Pizza and Sari Ateek eventually asked if I would write a grant for the Norwood Parish Fund to get us to participate in Pride.
I had to think for a while, and pray seriously about it. I was the type of person to watch a parade, not necessarily march in one, much less write a grant proposal, or organize a contingent. In my prayers, I could picture God having a good laugh saying, “HA HA, Kurt! You thought St. John’s would never do this! Now you have to man up!” How could I say no?
I wrote the proposal to the NPF. It got approved (kudos to the NPF folks!). We bought frisbees with the church logo, a banner, and advertised in Crossroads. 25 people showed up to march. We had a blast!
The gay community does not always receive a welcoming message from churches (understatement!). Other churches, while supportive and inclusive are not necessarily putting their message of welcome out there. Marching in the parade tells a whole community that they are welcome at St. John’s. It is a positive risk for the Gospel.
What amazes me still after three years of marching is how grateful people are to see the churches marching in the Pride Parade. All along the parade route we hear time and again, “Thank you for coming!”, and “Thank you, St. John’s!” In 2015 it is no small thing to say, “ALL ARE WELCOME HERE!”
Our pastor, Rev. Sari!
…and the man of the hour, Kurt!
Below is one I took at the Parade in 2016!
You are not alone.
To every one of my Muslim friends and neighbors, you are not alone. The demonizing of your religion will not go unchallenged. Threats to discriminate against you because of your faith will not go unchallenged. You are our neighbors, friends and family. There are so many Americans, so many Christians, who will defend you.
To every immigrant, even those who came to us undocumented, you are not alone. We will still speak of your dignity and worth and celebrate our connection as human beings. You are our neighbors, our fellow humans, and you matter to us. Your children matter, and we will not leave them forsaken.
To every woman who feels that deep pain in their soul when men use and excuse demeaning language like “grab them by the pussy,” you are not alone. We will continue to hold people accountable for their words and actions. We will always speak of your value and we will defend your bodies and rights.
To every LGBTQ friend and neighbor, you are not alone. We have seen important civil liberties achieved in the last decade for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer minorities, and we will not sit idly by when those are threatened. You matter to us, and we will continue to safeguard your life and liberty.
To the millions who have healthcare for the first time, and those who finally have coverage even in the face of preexisting conditions, you are not alone. We will not sit idly by while your health is threatened by political games and rhetoric. We will fight for you and with you to keep the healthcare you so desperately need.
To our non-white friends and neighbors who have been vilified, faced condescension, and suffered demeaning, racist abuses, you are not alone. We will continue to stand with you for equality and truth. We will continue to work for a day when no one’s race or ethnicity is used as a weapon to disenfranchise, demean or discredit them.
To refugees around the world and those who have made it to US soil, you are not alone. We will not allow you to be further victimized by fear and suspicion, but will loudly proclaim your dignity, value and humanity. You are our sisters and brothers.
Those holding public offices change, but some things will never change. We will always stand together to create a better world, a safer world and a more beautiful world where our diverse gifts and shared dignity brighten every dark time. We will work harder each day to embrace love and accept our differences, and we will safeguard one another against all threats. We will stumble and we will misstep, but we will always rise and be better for our shared efforts.
You are not alone.
A four-year-old blog post of mine on preachers inciting violence has been coming to mind lately in light of the recent events in Orlando, and the hate-filled preaching of some pastors. Violence is a sickness, especially violence shrouded in religious piety. More than ever, our world needs those who will love in the face of hate and work to heal the sickness of these preachers. I’m sharing a recent nasty example from a pastor’s Facebook postings, and then linking in my blog from four years ago on preachers who incite violence. Lord, have mercy.
Recent nastiness in the name of Christ…
My post of four years ago: On Preachers Who Incite Violence
We must loudly and strongly, with civil tongues and constant hearts, repudiate these voices and their messages. We must stand against these messages of hate and violence. Silence is not an option, no more than violence. Answer them with sure, true and sincere messages of love. May our voices never cease to sing and weave the story of God’s unending love.
“Well darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable,
and lightness has a call that’s hard to hear.”
Indigo Girls, Closer to Fine
This is my response to the Orlando shootings as a Christian and as a human being. I’m making a campaign in response to the deadly act of violence committed against 49 people at the Pulse Orlando night club in the early morning hours of Sunday, June 12, in Orldando, FL. How do you respond to such hatred? Such violence? Such darkness? You light it up. You light it up with love.
Light Up The Darkness With Love!
Let’s start a movement of people committed to honoring the lives of the people senselessly killed at the Pulse with 50 acts of love. Our acts of love will also honor those injured and can help support them and add to their healing, especially if you are close enough to give blood, hold a hand or be a listing ear.
Many of us are far from Orlando and lack ways to directly respond to Sunday morning’s violence and death, but the world where we live also needs our love. Communities across America and across the world produce mass shooters, hurting people, broken people, pain and darkness. Let’s light it up with our love.
We hurt with the victims of senseless hate and violence. We stand with our beautiful LGBTQ neighbors, friends and family against the hatred and violence that too often targets them. They deserve better and they deserve our support. We stand with our innocent Muslim friends, family and neighbors who now may be targeted for more hatred after the shooting. More hate is not the answer.
Please feel free to share this graphic, use this graphic, spread it far and wide. Let’s all shine some light on the darkness!
Ideas for getting started with #50ACTSOFLOVE…
donate to a charity
volunteer at a local school
reach out to a long lost friend
say something encouraging to someone
help your child with their homework
mow a neighbor’s yard
pick up some neighborhood litter
start recycling at home
volunteer at a local food bank
sit with a grieving friend or family member
post a few positive articles on Facebook
tell someone you love them
send a greeting card to your grandparents
find ways to support (too often homeless) LGBTQ teens
find a local battered women’s shelter and donate time/money
carry an extra $5 bill for the next street beggar who asks
ask if your employer will match your charitable donation
learn more about your Muslim friends and neighbors
learn more about your LGBTQ friends and neighbors
offer an apology you’ve been avoiding
tell someone they’re beautiful today
compliment a coworker on their job
say thank you and mean it
hold the door for someone at the coffee shop
Let’s open up our hearts, minds and imaginations to the potential of spreading love to everyone within our reach. Respond to the hate with love. Shine your light on the darkness. Believe in us.
I believe we are blessed to live in a time when we are more openly and gracefully speaking of our sisters and brothers who are transgendered, but I also realize that many of our precious neighbors and family members still face stresses, threats and dangers that the majority of us do not recognize or understand.
It’s November, and November 20th is an awareness day to remember our fellow transgendered human beings who have died: Transgender Day of Remembrance.
If you wonder why we have a special day like this, please take a moment to peruse articles that educate us on the threats and stresses facing our trans friends and family: murder, suicide, teen homelessness and violent crime.
The conversation about transgendered men and women has gone mainstream and we all know the names of celebrities and public figures who have made their transition in various levels of public scrutiny: Laverne Cox, Chaz Bono, and Caitlyn Jenner. Last year for Transgendered Remembrance Day I shared a couple of videos in a blog post, one from Laverne Cox and one from an amazing pastor and preacher, Allysson Robinson.
I have a few simple requests to everyone as we approach the 20th this year:
- Stop posting mean-spirited and discouraging memes and messages on social media about transgendered men and women. You may not think of Caitlyn Jenner’s transition as courageous, but when she receives an award from someone who thinks she shows courage, and you compare her to examples of firefighters or soldiers, you’re not being smart or clever, you’re just being mean and misrepresenting. There is a kind of courage that enables someone to survive media scrutiny and our disdain in the public arena, and it in no way diminishes other types of courage in other areas of life. Drawing unfair comparisons because you don’t like Caitlyn is a distraction and it is mean-spirited.
- Educate yourself on gender dysphoria so that you can stop spreading the demonization and criminalization of transgendered women and men. Learn about Gender Dysphoria in the DSM-5 and a good Huffington Post article. No, trans neighbors are not faking their gender identity to sneak into your bathroom. No, trans neighbors are not immature sexual attention-getters. No, trans neighbors are not out to make you trans, prey on you or your children, or even more likely to be sexual offenders. Please take some time to study the facts on sexual assault and sexual crimes, and you will learn the difference between many myths and many facts, supported by the numbers, like the fact: “sex offenders are disproportionately likely to be heterosexual men.” Some quick links and sources for your perusal: RAINN, University of Michigan (info for new students and the source of the above mentioned quote), CASA, and this long but important read from UC Davis. These links do often speak to the question of sexual orientation more than gender presentation or transition, but they are still good reads for us as we tend to fear and demonize what we do not understand. We are far more influenced by political spin and the culture war proponents (i.e. gullible) when we are less educated on issues.
- Be graceful and compassionate, practicing empathy and mercy for others. Take a long hard look at the numbers of homeless trans teens who have been kicked out by their families, a long look at the numbers of trans suicide attempts and successes, and a long look at the rates of violent crime against our trans neighbors, and then ask yourself: “Do I want to say or share anything that continues to stigmatize or hurt a group of people who are already under such assault and victims of such hatred and violence?” It’s time we all spent a lot more time owning our words and their impact. It’s time we owned the responsibility to be people promoting and increasing grace in the world. Even if you read every post I linked in this blog and still don’t quite understand gender dysphoria or understand someone’s authentic struggle with their gender identity, you can still be merciful, empathetic and kind. In fact, you must.
As with our discussions around sexual orientation, there’s so much to learn from knowing a person who is transgendered. Knowing people is the best way to break down the stereotypes and prejudices. You may not know someone who identifies as a the gender opposite of their birth gender or sexual organs, but you can listen to the stories and struggles of real people like: Chase Marie, stories from The New York Times, and lots more at TransPeopleSpeak.org.
Life can be real struggle, as we all know. Our paths may be divergent in many ways, but at the intersections we have magical moments when love and grace ignite the wonder of God. Pray this month for the souls of those who die at the hands of our fear and ignorance. Pray for the peace and joy of all God’s children.