Just Life
I Want to Be Your Pastor Because I Believe in You
I believe in you.
I’m sure I’ve blogged enough over the years about my belief in God and Christ… but I don’t think I’ve ever actually blogged about how much I believe in you, you my friends, you my family, you my neighbors. I believe in you.
I don’t believe in you in some silly way that romanticizes your chances at becoming President one day. Instead, I believe that you are good. You are beloved.
I believe in you.
I believe you should be you.
I do not believe it’s my job to change you.
I believe in God in you.
I believe in God’s love for you.
I do not believe God’s love will ever leave you.
I believe in your love.
I believe in your wisdom.
I do not believe your mistakes define you.
Jesus believes enough in you, in us, that he once described us as salt and light. The Psalmist once described us as a little lower than God, just a little. Don’t worry, I’m not thinking we’re at all close to dethroning the Almighty. I am however pretty excited about sharing some life with you. Let’s do this!
AMDG, Todd
I Want To Be Your Pastor Because I Need You
Indeed, I need you. I’ve grown up with various ways of expressing an old idea that each of us has “a God-shaped hole in our soul” that draws us to the divine. It’s been expressed in various ways from Augustine of Hippo in the 4th Century, Pascal in the 17th Century and our beloved C.S. Lewis in the 20th Century. I’ll let you do the Google work if you really want the quotes, but watch out for the misquotes! =)
It’s also a biblical idea that rings though in lots of scriptural passages like Acts 17 when Paul recognizes the religious nature of the people of Athens and in various bits of Ecclesiastes. Some have also linked teachings of Jesus to the idea, such as the “well of life-giving water” from within that he promises. And of course, it’s been sung, and sung and sung, by many in our lifetime.
Ok. I don’t have much of a complaint about that idea and have in fact felt an anecdotal affirmation of it in my own life. Yes, I have tried to walk away from faith, often to simply give myself some distance, but always have been inexorably pulled back. My doubt has always been as strong as my faith. I rest in a great tradition of faithful doubters involved in sacred vocation, Matthew 28:16-20. Still, I think there’s just as valid an idea and truth in these words: In each of us there is a need of one another that cannot be safely denied, completely ignored, or fully satisfied in anything but community.
In each of us there is a need of one another that cannot be safely denied,
completely ignored, or fully satisfied in anything but community.
There are many scriptural passages and themes that support this idea, and I’m happy to lay out a few that illustrate our need of one another and the value of practicing good community, found especially in the life of Jesus and community of the early disciples: Psalm 133; Micah 6:8; Matthew 5:13-16, 21-26, 43-48; Matthew 7:1-6; Matthew 22:34-40; John 11:1-44; John 13:1-20; Romans 13:8-10; Romans 14; Galatians 5:13-26; Ephesians 4:1-16; Colossians 3:1-17; and 1 John 4:7-21. And now think of the “communal correctives” embedded in the Ten Commandments and the teaching on prayer by Jesus: Exodus 20:1-17 & Matthew 6:5-15.
When I say I need you I really do mean it. We share life and we share caring, and that doesn’t lessen my value or expressiveness as an individual, but enhances and enlarges it. Yes, we are capable of doing community badly, but that doesn’t mean we no longer need community. The vast majority of religious moral and ethical ideas cannot find any fruition without our neighbor. And likewise, I believe that the deepest spiritual fulfillment, giving and receiving love, is also found with others.
I need you to give and receive love with me. My chosen vocation means that I am going to do everything in my human abilities to make that exchange pure and up-building. Pastors are never perfect, but in community, we find a rhythm of life and love that helps us share well. I’ll need your grace and your forgiveness at times. And you’ll have mine. I cannot be fully realized as a person, either religiously or spiritually, without you.
This is all exciting, scary and endlessly promising! And though it’s not always easy, community is always needful. Talk and I’ll listen. Share and I’ll hold your truths in confidence. Struggle and I will struggle along with you. Face victory and I’ll dance alongside you.
Life is ours.
AMDG, Todd
P.S. And I love, love, LOVE me some Mother Teresa of Calcutta. She has a couple of a quotes that have become very dear to me, often shared and never old…
“Today, if we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”
And the Simple Path of Mother Teresa: “The fruit of silence is prayer, the fruit of prayer is faith, the fruit of faith is love, the fruit of love is service, the fruit of service is peace.”
The Thing Is, I Wanna Be Your Pastor
I have no idea what you think of when you hear the word “pastor.” I can hope you hear “pasture” and that you can imagine a shepherdess or a shepherd, and green fields with blue skies and cool air. I hope you don’t see an angry face of someone who lacks faith in you or lives to adjust you, change you or rule you. I hope you can imagine a person of grace, joy, humility and imperfection. I hope that you can imagine a friend and a companion.
I whipped up this image of a puzzle piece cross to emphasize that I believe in and trust in the scriptures that teach our completeness when together and our deep need of each other. Maybe we’ll explore some of those passages through July.
I want to be your pastor.
I want to be your pastor because I need you. Yes I’m paid to be a pastor, and I’m so blessed to have the opportunity to be supported as the pastor of a congregation, but that only meets the financial needs of my life and my family. It’s the people who choose to savor grace with me, those that carry me along with them and I carry them with me, who keep me choosing day after day and year after year to be a pastor.
pas·tor, noun 1. a minister or priest in charge of a church.
2. a person having spiritual care of a number of persons.
All through July of 2014 I’d like to work on some various expressions of why I’d like to be your pastor. You see, I want to be your pastor even if you don’t attend my congregation. I want to be your pastor even if you don’t call yourself a “Christian.” I want to do life with you and I offer myself to you as a friend, a neighbor and a pastor.
I don’t really like the “in charge” part of the above definition. I prefer the “spiritual care” part, but I don’t want you to think that liking the word spiritual implies that I have a dualistic sacred & profane, spiritual & secular divide for thinking about and doing life. Pastoring is a shared caring. We walk through all the things of life together and I don’t have a list of life’s stuff I don’t want to share with you.
It’s July 1st and if I’m your pastor, then hear me say that I am thrilled to be your pastor! I love the people with whom I am blessed to do life! And if you have never thought of me as your pastor, then think again. I’m at your service. I offer myself to you.
I’m not sure what all I’ll write about in July, but I’m excited to start the process of praying and thinking and expressing something I’ve wanted to blog about for a while: I want to be your pastor. Let me also invite you to ask me a question you’ve always wanted to ask a pastor. Something on your mind? I’m at your service.
Be safe this July 4th weekend, ok?
AMDG, Todd
Where The Cross Has Been
We’ve been painting little hearts, hands and crosses in worship at Church in Bethesda as we talk about service, sharing and the impact of our faith and lives on the world around us. To make cleanup a little easier I’ve been taping the little wooden pieces to half sheets of construction paper. I thought it would make it easier to paint to the edge of the pieces while keeping fingers clean.
Later, I come along and pull the pieces off to lay them around on the altar. What I didn’t plan on was the awesome way many of our people painted onto the paper, using it as an extension of the canvas. I was also struck by this image of a piece of paper with the outline of a cross after I removed the wooden piece.
When we work so hard to create a life that has beauty and intention, we don’t know how far that life will reach or how much it changes the world around it. Painting that little red cross created two images, the cross itself and the place where it was made. How like that is my own life? How like that is your life? Let’s keep painting and working on our little lives, our efforts of colors and shapes of grace, and let’s stop every now and then and look to marvel at the patterns and imprints we leave behind.
One of the sweetest elements of community is sharing the surprises, the unexpected and the leftovers. One of the deepest blessings of our faith is what we don’t easily see it creating in us and our world. Thanks be to the God who paints alongside us. Thanks be to the God who overpaints our edges and covers the world anew in grace each day. Thanks be to God.
AMDG, Todd
P.S. There are more photos of our crosses, hearts and hands on my Facebook page and on the Church in Bethesda Facebook page!
Good Ritual
I think I’ll do something here I haven’t done much of… I’m gonna share my message notes! Today at Church in Bethesda we are finishing a series on Seven Spiritual Practices That Transform. I’m not immune to the words that come of my mouth, so I’m thinking about my own rituals, habit and life, in the light of the scriptures we will share. Here ya go…
Ritual ~ Cultivating Action
We come this week to the close of our discussion of Seven Spiritual Practices That Transform. Our “big idea” has been that we can adopt and adapt practices into our lives that will transform who we are and transform our world. We aren’t looking for just “change,” but for a deeper movement, a transforming.
We conclude today taking about “ritual,” what is sometimes the foundation of religious life and the bane of religious growth. Ritual is inevitable and shared, and so it should be handled with care. Good ritual, ritual that supports a person’s growth with God and is rooted in deep meaning and matters of importance, is ritual that cultivates action. Ritual that becomes detached from the matters of greatest importance will lose its meaning and ultimately bind and suffocate.
Main Ideas For The Day…
First, Jesus spoke and intended us to act. Some of us grew singing the song from Matthew 7 about “The wise man built his house upon the rock, and the rains came a-tumbling down…” When teaching the Sermon on the Mount as a youth pastor I often taught it backwards beginning here in chapter 7, beginning with the intention of Jesus that we act on his words. Jesus desired us to meaningfully engage what he taught and act it out in the world.
Secondly, Jesus didn’t like action separated from meaning. In Matthew 23 Jesus took some religious leaders to task for having flawless ritual and tradition, except that it actually violated the heart and will of God by being dead to the matters of greatest importance. Jesus wasn’t simply anti-ritual or anti-establishment. He was a reformer, or a restorer in many ways. *Matthew 23:23… keep the ritual, but make sure it’s serving the meaning!
Thirdly, review your ritual, your habits and ceremonies for meaning and growth. Think of the things you do, your actions, habits and routines, and prayerfully seek to align them with the matters of greatest importance. And we do this as a community, a church family!
The Value of Ritual
- Ritual teaches
- Ritual forms
- Ritual sustains
The Danger of Ritual
- Ritual can replace meaning
- Ritual can be mistaken for meaning (Colossians 2:16-23)
Have a blessed week, people! I’ll be posting later on in the week from the Wild Goose Festival! Hope to see some of you, there!
AMDG, Todd
Recommitting to All People’s Dignity
Just a quick note!
As I’m doing my whirlwind of usual Sunday morning stuff to get ready for our worship gathering and fellowship time, I’m struck by the intersection of two news stories coming across my desk… the first is of Pope Francis throwing in on peace in the Middle East, and the second is of a conference of atheists in “Bible Belt.”
Of course, the Middle East won’t have peace just because the Pope encourages them to have peace. And the article about atheists in the South probably has a lot of hyperbole and exaggeration.
But it’s undeniably powerful when a Pope speaks of everyone’s dignity, especially the value and dignity of Jewish and Muslim neighbors. And a little hyperbole doesn’t change the fact that many people in communities across America fear the reactions of their Christian neighbors and coworkers to their chosen lack of faith.
Today, let’s recommit ourselves
to upholding the dignity
of all our neighbors.
Let’s be people who sow peace instead of fear. Let’s be people who live grace instead of just singing about it. Let’s be people who transform the world by simple kindness and sincere friendship. This is again our day to shine. This is again our day to commit to salting the earth with joy and with love.
AMDG, Todd
I Will Listen
Hey. I’ll listen. Need to say something? Need to get something off your chest? Need to just be heard? I will listen. Really.
I had a great conversation this week with a friend and fellow life coach about the struggle we often face to listen well. Sometimes we’re just wired to be talking. Sometimes our own pride wants to speak and to share and to be getting the attention. Sometimes we just don’t care what the other person is talking about.
But the other person has an intrinsic right to be heard. My friend said that he felt that “he owed it to the person speaking to listen as well as he could.” I think he’s right. He owes a debt of listening to the people around him. I owe that debt to others. I owe that debt to you.
We pulled out our Bibles and sat with Paul for a bit in the letter in the Philippians…
“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:1-4
That’s kinda cool, huh? I have a debt to care about the things that interest you. Honestly, I was raised to think more that scripture told me what to be interested in, and by default I was to do the same for others. Looking into the Greek just a little it seems to me that the emphasis is as much on the “looking to” as the “interests.” It’s a posture of focus, attention and concern for the other person that flows from an experience of Christ.
In our life coach training we go over the essentials to listening well and ways to be sure that we respect and hear someone who is speaking to us. It’s not too hard, and here are a few of the core elements to adopting a posture of attention…
1. Give the speaker your visual attention. Stop looking at other things and letting yourself get distracted.
2. Don’t interrupt. Let the person say what they need or want to say. Silence really is awesome at times! Give the person time to refine their words and hear themselves.
3. Stop creating a response before they even finish speaking. This is a hard one for many of us as we want to argue and begin arguing in our minds before they finish their thought.
I need to be giving respectful attention, making eye contact and communicating my concern with body language. I need to give enough uninterrupted space for the other person to finish sentences and complete their thoughts. I need to release the assumption of needing to change the person, argue with the person or correct the person.
Having listened, I can be creative with ways to better understand what is being said. St. Ignatius taught a principle for listening that basically said I should receive what is said with the “benefit of the doubt” assigning the speaker the best possible intentions and meanings. He said that if I have trouble with what was said, I should ask for clarifications. If what is being said is simply hurtful or negative and there’s no good to be found in it, my response is still charity and love, even if I must give correction or a dissenting view. Listening well and trying to hear the best possible intention in the other person doesn’t presuppose acquiescence, but instead sets the stage for understanding and responding with charity and love.
If you’ve taken a counseling class then you’ve probably learned to ask clarifying questions. We were taught ask questions that clarify meaning and clarify feeling. We don’t want leading questions that presuppose a particular answer, but we want to encourage the greatest level of understanding and sharing. We want to create an open safe space for answering.
To open another piece of scripture from Paul, this seems to be an imminently practical way to live a fulfillment of our shared “debt of love.”
“Give to everyone what you owe: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not covet,’ and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” Romans 13:7-10
I’ll do my best to pay my debts. I’ll look you in the eye and give you the respectful hearing you want and need. If I’m not, poke me on the shoulder and remind me that I owe you more.
AMDG, Todd
Thanks for Making Fun of My Vibrams: Not.
PSA: If you don’t care about the shoes I run in, you can stop reading now and that’s OK. This is a bit different kind of blog post, with no poems or theology. This is just a bit of my life.
Vibrams recently lost a lawsuit over their FiveFinger shoes because their advertising could not be backed up with scientific studies, and some people believe that validates their snarky, dismissive remarks about the people who wear them. I’ve seen some pretty mean-spirited things said and implied on Facebook in the last week about people who wear FiveFingers. I started three blog posts yesterday, and this is the first one I finished first. Go figure.
Please Understand:
1) The I don’t wear FiveFingers because I think you should. I think I should.
2) I don’t wear FiveFingers because I want to impress you. I want to improve myself.
3) I don’t wear FiveFingers because I like your stares. I wear them because I need to be active.
I started wearing FiveFingers to work out and to run in 2013. I came late to the FiveFinger party, like eight years after their introduction? I’d been growing more and more alarmed over the last few years about my weight gain and my overall health, and I decided to take steps, starting last year when I went back to the gym. I started slow and easy, using the elliptical machines and pushing some weights. I weighed in at 222 pounds and I felt bad. (I had weighed in at 238 a year before, but had cut sodas and a lot of eating.) I didn’t plan to get fitter because of anything anyone else thought or said. I just didn’t like the way I felt at 222 lbs. You may like yourself at any weight of your choosing. I’m only saying how my body made me feel: I still felt bad. I also still have a young son who just turned 13, and I need to be able to keep up with him for a few more years.
Like I said, I started on the elliptical machines, but I knew I wanted to run. I quit running back in 1990 when I was much younger. I’ve always had ridiculously flat feet. Running was never fun, and I could never get comfortable with inserts. I tried over the counter inserts and I tried inserts prescribed by a podiatrist. They just didn’t work for me. Maybe they work for your flat feet, in which case I’m very glad for you. Inserts always made my ankles roll. And regular shoes were never a great experience for me. Last year when I would work out I had to tie my shoes very tight to avoid rolling my ankles or my feet moving around in my shoes, but then my toes went to sleep and I had painful marks on the tops of my feet. Then I’d loosen my shoes and get blisters. It wasn’t a good time.
Shoes have also always cramped my toes, painfully smashing them all together in unnatural ways. Earlier in 2013 I had taken a train trip with my oldest son and had a few months of pain afterward with my toes because of that long ride in shoes. I have rarely found shoes with a wide enough toe box to allow me to comfortably wear them for long periods of time.
I’ve been a barefoot or mostly barefoot walker for years. Once it’s above 40 degrees you may have noticed I prefer sandals, flip flops or nothing. I had seen the barefoot running shoes and been intrigued, but I wasn’t sure they would work for my very flat feet. I began searching online and found that some flatfooted runners who wore Vibrams FiveFinger shoes loved them, but cautioned about starting slowly and getting used to them. I heeded their advice, tried a pair, broke them in slowly, and fell in love with some shoes for the first time in my life.
I never saw the ads that lost Vibrams their lawsuit, but I should admit that I agree with the FiveFinger claims whole-heartedly. Since I started running in my FiveFingers last year I have completed four local 5k runs. I’ve run in snow, rain, cold and now heat. I have never once turned an ankle. I have never once lost circulation and felt my toes go numb. I have not fallen once. My feet are healthier and stronger. I love these shoes. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are for everyone, but they are for me. The shoes are different looking for sure… in fact, I most often run in my black FiveFingers even though I prefer the feel of my more minimalist green pair, because the black pair seem less conspicuous. Flashy running shoes are hardly a FiveFinger problem, though.
I have had some friends say they cannot abide anything between their toes. The toe socks and FiveFingers shoes were a bit out of my ordinary, but I’ve grown to love them! I relish the feeling of added stability and “purchase” when my feet embrace the ground while I run. But if you can’t abide anything between your toes, I’m OK with that.
Here’s what my experience has been:
1) I think my over pronation has decreased and become less noticeable. I was always bothered by the way my ankles turned in on themselves when I stood in the shower and paid attention to them. My ankles seem stronger and straighter to me.
2) From November of last year through March of this year I was running but not really paying much more attention to my diet. My weight dropped from 222 to 215 by the end of March from just being more active, and I was pretty comfortable running three or four miles at a time.
3) My toes are the happiest they have ever been and I don’t have any of the “flat foot” pain I used to have after being active on my bare feet without shoe support to my arches. I can only assume that means my feet are stronger and healthier.
My family gave me a Fitbit for my birthday on March 31st, and beginning in April of this year it’s helped me to be far more mindful about my activity and food. Weight gain for me is a simple equation: I’ve always eaten a ton of calories each day and burned a lot less. Weight gain and weight loss might be way more complicated for you. I’m only saying how it works for me. Since the beginning of April and my greater mindfulness of food (about a month and a half), I’ve dropped my intake of calories and monitored my activity closely, and my weight has dropped to 208. I can actually imagine the day I will drop under 200 lbs, a dream I’ve had for several years. (I weighed 165 when I married Teresa.)
I guess you can make fun of me for my shoes if you want to… it’s a free country and all that. You can even now make fun of me for the Fitbit I wear on my wrist each day. You might decide that I’m a trendy faddist who gets suckered into every lame fitness myth. Some of you on Facebook have already made fun of my shoes being ugly and decided I’m stupid for buying them, but here’s the deal, I want you to know that I’m not immune to your sarcastic meanness. I wish I was, but I’m not.
I do what I do because of how I want to feel, not because of how I want you to feel about me. I wear what I wear so I can comfortably run and be active, not because I want to look stylish. But that doesn’t mean your ridicule hurts less or makes me feel less sad or less mad when I’m lumped in a group and generally lampooned and denigrated. It sucks when you intrude on my life to score some humor points at my expense. I won’t change anything about myself because of your ridicule, but it does steal some joy from the day.
Would other minilaist running shoes work for me? Maybe, but I’m concerned about the narrow toe boxes. I do own a pair of VivoBarefoot’s Tera Plana, and I wear them for daily walking. Still, the Tera Plana toe box is way too narrow for me to comfortably run in them. By the way, I got those Tera Plana shoes on a crazy store closing sale, like 80% off or something. I also learned that brand new FiveFingers come along much cheaper on eBay than in a local stores. Once you get fitted and know your size, eBay is your friend!
Here’s my humble request: Next time you want to judge someone or generally lampoon something based on what you think you know and understand, take some time to consider that you may not know everything there is to know. You may not ever wear a pair of FiveFingers because you can’t stand the way they look, and that’s OK. Your opinion that they are ugly doesn’t mean that everyone who does wear them are doing so because they think they are good looking! It just might be that FiveFingers are the shoes that helped them get active and feel better. And I do get it… I would have to admit that I’m pretty good at making fun of others. I spent a lot of years of my life picking up humor points at other people’s expense. But guess what? I grew up. Learning to be civil and to consider the other person is not always an easy transition, and old habits die hard. I know. I’ve been there, and I’m still struggling to do that.
The moral of the really long-winded blog post? Next time you just absolutely hate someone’s shoes, you can still try to spread some joy and make the world a better place. Free the love. Cage the hate.
AMDG, Todd
Let The Love Speak
One of the most difficult parts of being a Pastor is not always knowing what to say, it’s that having said something you carry an extra special burden to live it. There’s a haunting scriptural reference you might be familiar with from James 3:1&2…
Not many of you should presume to be teachers,
my brothers and sisters, because you know
that we who teach will be judged more strictly.
We all stumble in many ways.
Thanks for that, James. I like you more when you’re making other people feel uncomfortable.
I was very recently asked to speak with a friend’s child about some naughty behavior at home. The child was acting out when disciplined and escalating the bad choices already made instead of learning from the discipline and doing better. I agreed to speak with the child and had I think we had a good conversation. We’ll see if the behavior changes, but here’s the gist of what I said…
First, you’re awesome, and that’s a fact, and it’s why such bad behavior is surprising.
I love this child I was speaking with, and I’ve been blessed to be part of the child’s extended family. Any time we have to stop and evaluate our behavior, it’s not a time lose faith in either God or ourselves. We act for the better out of an understanding and appreciation of how valuable we are to God and others. I think this is the difference between contrition and depression, between feeling bad and feeling worthless, and between healthy sorrow and unhealthy self-loathing. There’s no room for “you are bad” even when we’re talking about “your behavior was bad.”
Too often I extend graces to others that I deny myself. You ever do that? I can keep a growing list of how good others are, while my personal tally is mostly on the negative side. I can let my own failings drag behind me clamoring like tin cans on strings and reminding me with every step that I have failed. I need to learn to cut those strings, look carefully that those failings, and dream my way forward without them. This isn’t going to make the failings magically not matter any more, but I need to deal with my faults instead of letting them deal with me. I started the conversation with how loved and how good my little friend has been, is, and will be. But, what about the choices we make?
Second, it’s ok to be mad, but not to listen to the mad.
Here’s another reminder from scripture, this time from Paul in Ephesians 4:26&27…
“In your anger do not sin”
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
and do not give the devil a foothold.
Anger is a inner voice, and it’s not often a very wise voice of counsel. Somewhere along the way we have to learn to stop listening to the mad, and the sooner the better. Yes, it’s not as easily said as done. That’s why self-control is such a difficult thing to master… not because of the control part, but the self part. Things happen, things are said, and mad happens. There’s not always a lot of choice there, but what we do next is a choice. Instead of listening to the mad, we can stop and listen to another voice… I recommend the love.
Love will tell me to do something totally different than the mad. It doesn’t matter if the mad is directed at me myself or someone else, love for myself or another will always give me better counsel. Even a child, including the one I was having a conversation with, knows the difference between acting on how mad I am versus acting on how much I love. When I am mad, I have to stop making choices until I can let the love speak. It takes time, effort, practice, and above all choice. James says it famously in his first chapter, James 1:19&20…
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
Oh, James. The mad is so much more fun! The mad can give me a sense of power! The mad can make me feel less like I need to change anything and put all the burden of change and recompense on the other person! I kinda like that, to be honest. It’s way more effort to stop, to slow down, and to move past the mad.
You know, I made a statement just a moment ago that I want to add something to before I finish and move on with other things. I said, “Things happen, things are said, and mad happens. There’s not always a lot of choice there, but what we do next is a choice.” I do believe that mad happens, and there’s often not a lot of choice about being mad, and yet… I also believe that along the path of choices we make in life, we can unlearn and lose a lot of the mad along the way. We don’t have to be slaves to the mad. I think that the more I slow down, the more I listen, the more I love, the less I will get mad. Like any muscle, if I exercise the mad all the time it will get bigger and stronger. It might be a long road from my first choice to let love speak instead of my anger until I start to realize that there’s a lot less anger in my life to silence, but it’s a worthwhile journey.
Since I spoke, I now have a greater burden to do. I should be judged more strictly. I agree. We’re all human and we do stumble in many ways, and we all need the grace of stumbling into one another’s shoulder, feeling that arm of support wrap around our backs, and get that helping lift back onto our feet. Please, forgive me my mad. Forgive me when I haven’t kept my mouth shut long enough to hand the reigns over to the love. Forgive me when I’ve sat and cultivated the mad, reveled in the mad, and then followed where it led.
Paul again, captures some of the struggle so well, feeling the chagrin of failure and yet the hopefulness of what can be and what will be… Romans 7:21-25:
So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
I will do better. I will learn. I will grow. I will let the love speak. That’s what I hope for my little friend and for myself… to grow into a joyful expression of love. To grow, choice by choice, into a life less governed by the mad and in which the love speaks.
AMDG, Todd
Forget the Resting Happy Face, OK
It’s time to forget the resting happy face, and the resting unhappy face, too. I see it floating around the internet at times, some funny or serious exposition on the state of a person’s natural “resting face.” I’m the most guilty of this, in fact. Living in Bethesda I’ve mentioned more than once that I was a bit perplexed by the “Bethesda Scowl.” How could so many people walk around looking so unhappy in such a great place to live?
It’s time to stop worrying about our resting faces and start refining our working faces, our playing faces, our gifting faces. Sometimes when I’m on the Metro, where you aren’t supposed to make eye contact with others, I look people right in the eye… and smile! It’s always fun to see the reaction. A few will smile back, most hastily look away, and if they happen to be tourists they actually strike up a conversation. Who made the rules to say that we shouldn’t be engaging one another on the Metro to increase the globe’s smile content? It often seems that the same rule applies to walking around Bethesda or downtown DC.
About five years ago when our family had just lived in Bethesda for a couple of years, we realized we hadn’t been to a Walmart since our move here from Texas. I know that many of you hate the very existence of Walmart, but until you’ve lived in Texas and had three Super Walmart stores within a mile of your house you can’t know how integral they become to your life. Anyway, we set out to find a Walmart. To be completely honest, I had found a pair of reading glasses online I wanted and Walmart was the only store where I could find them in stock. We set out to go explore Howard County and find their Walmart. It was a long drive into Maryland and away from the comfortable confines of the Beltway to which we had become so accustomed. As we walked across the parking lot I grew more and more self conscious about peoples’ stares. Teresa felt it too and we are asking each other, “Do I have a booger or something?” During our mutual inspection she realized what was wrong: people were making eye contact with us. Very NOT Metro DC of them.
Let’s make a gifting face for our neighbors to enjoy. Do we have the energy, the strength, the quiet faith in one another to manage a little smile, and hold it? I’ll admit, it’s hard for me to think of my face as a gift to anyone. I’m a little too Orc’ish to be very thrilling for the masses. Still, I share a bit of the global responsibility to make the energy and legacy of this day with my neighbors.What’s my contribution going to be? Can I add a bit of positivity, some lift, a touch of happy or a slice of grin? I can. I should. The gifting face is what we mean to share. The gifting face is what we hope to leave in our wake as we pass through the lives around us.
Even a half-Orc Madball® like me looks better in a grin. Don’t I look like I’m having some secret fun? One glance and you know I stole your cookies. I look like I’m hiding some cool super powers! What is it, do ya think? Do I have ex-ray vision and can see your mis-matched socks? Maybe I’m enjoying some snarky internet meme about b***chy resting faces! Who knows, but you wanna ask now, don’t ya?!
Let’s be real for a moment… I don’t think there’s anything restful about unhappy resting faces. I think we use those faces to shut people out, to insulate ourselves and to hold onto some illusory power: “If I’m going to be unhappy, it’s my decision!” A gifting face opens the wearer up to the people in their lives. It asks for interaction. It affirms. It hopes.
Give it try. Let’s have a smiling contest. Do it until your cheeks hurt! If anyone actually makes eye contact with your gifting face, give them a big double-fisted thumbs up and a “Yeah, baby!” Most of all, have some fun! I dare you. The one thing I know for sure is that someone needs your gifting face, today. Release that gift, let that energy go. Make the world a smile’y’er place! Make them all wonder.
AMDG, Todd “The Round’est Ever Madball®” Thomas
toddthomas.net 