Faith & Depression: A Few Thoughts
This post began life as a reflection on mental health for the Lenten Season I was asked to make for a church project back in 2019. Now, five years down the road, I’ve returned to it to see if my thoughts have changed. It’s a good moment for me to do this, because I’ve had an acute episode with depression in recent months. Here are my reflections from five years ago with a few updates, things I believe about dealing with life-long depression and mental health struggles, particularly in the arena of faith.
Having Faith is No Free Pass
Some would believe and even say that being a person of faith can insulate you from mental health struggles like depression. I’ve found in my life that neither having faith nor being in ministry automatically keeps one from suffering the very human travails of depression. Depending on which studies you prefer to accept clergy will suffer depression at least as often or more often than the general public. Don’t get me wrong. When I’m experiencing depression I’m so glad for my faith and the positive and hopeful truths of my beliefs. My faith assures me of God’s love and my worth, and those are powerful countering messages to the inner voices of my depression and existential anxieties. But they aren’t an instant cure.
My spiritual director recently asked me how my prayer life changes when I’m depressed. That’s a great question. I don’t stop praying, but I definitely have seen a shift from a more relational expression of prayer, just talking with God, to a more intercessory style of prayer, talking about what others around me need. That’s not necessary a bad shift, but I do miss the quietly affirming conversations with my God. Those times will come back around, and it helps me to read back in my journals and reflect on that deeper experience of prayer in other times of my life.
Depression Doesn’t Make You Bad
Being depressed does not make me or you a person bad. I’m not weak, stupid, broken or any of the other things we sometimes call ourselves and others when suffering comes around. Depression can and does happen to anyone. Do you remember the scene of that night Jesus spent in the garden wrestling with fear and anxiety? It’s Lent, so if you go to church much you’ll probably hear the story read sometime soon. He spent a sleepless night in a garden feeling sad enough to die. He suffered anxiety and a deep fear and existential pain, but not because he had done anything wrong. Suffering through that dark night of sadness (and yes, dark night is a common metaphor for seasons of depression and suffering) did not mean he was bad, weak or deficient in his faith. It mostly meant his claims of being human were all too true.
It’s not easy to release the shame and guilt that accompany depression, but they are not weights which have to be borne, and certainly not borne alone.
There’s No Need to Ask Why
We don’t need to ask why someone is depressed. Certainly there are ways to live our lives which are healthy or not, and things which affect us like seasonal affective disorder, and we sometime abuse substances. I believe though that asking why someone is depressed, at least as a first question, can get in the way of acceptance, love, support and comfort. Too often a search for why is just an extension of a blame game, or just a bad, a fix-it game. Next time someone says to you ‘I’m depressed” and you feel the “Really? Why?” start to form in your mind, say instead, “I’m sorry, that’s no fun. I love you.” Let’s not assume guilt when someone suffers. All Jesus asked for from his closest companions while he was suffering that night in the garden was for them to sit with him awake a while. Let’s be friends willing to sit with someone through their dark night. You don’t need to analyze or fix them, but just be willing to be there and let your presence be a strength and help. If we can do that, then we may find the opportunity and relationship needed to ask, “How can I help?”
Beloved ones, times of depression come and go for everyone, more often for some. Instead of viewing these seasonal changes of life as a weakness or deficiency, may we ever see them as opportunities to affirm our love and support for one another.
AMDG, Todd+
toddthomas.net 